A Humble Place of Surrender

At first glance this pictures looks like a sweet summer moment between me and my precious daughter. And although it was, going on a walk was also a very desperate act on my part to feel like I could breathe, to have a glimmer of hope, to gain clarity. You see, depression and anxiety have been a very real battle for me since entering motherhood and some days I just feel downright hopeless when the weight of motherhood or my OCD seems too much to bear and the anxiety attacks plague me. 

But one thing I have always known and seen ring true in my life recently is that we have a very real enemy trying to kill any hope we have in Christ. This enemy wants us to believe that we are the only mom, woman or girl struggling through the season we are in, that no one else could possible "get it". We believe the lies that we aren't enough or that we are alone and this pit we are in will remain dark and we will never see the light. But these lies are just that--they are NOT true. We must stand firm on the truth that Christ did not die in vain. He died for YOU--the mom in the trenches, the woman working hard to provide, the student figuring out her place in this world. His death conquered all the trials this side of Heaven. May this head knowledge become heart knowledge. 

Depression, postpartum depression and anxiety are very real demons that many face but don't let the outside world know is a struggle they are fighting. Guilt, shame and fear of judgement might be just a few of the reasons it's kept secret. It’s also easier to hide than most people realize. Motherhood often makes us feel like we “have to have it all together” and “love every minute of this phase of life” but this isn’t always the reality for many of us. Although we wholeheartedly love our sweet babes, it’s hard, it’s messy, it’s complicated and it's stressful. And as if motherhood isn’t hard enough, it can already be lonely WITHOUT the weight of depression and anxiety. Add it all together and it can become a very dark, hopeless, and stressful time.

But here is something else I've learned as I've walked my own journey with this issue—and please listen to this part because this has been one of the MOST IMPORTANT aspects of my path to healing and as I journey to get my depression and anxiety under control: We not only need to speak up and ask for help but we also need to allow others to step in and press in when we are vulnerable. There truly is strength in numbers and when we surround ourselves with positive, God-loving people, we allow the Lord's wisdom and love to be evident in a whole new way. Where two or more are gathered, the Lord is there and the enemy’s lies will be drowned out. It’s so much harder to listen to the enemy’s lies when you’re being filled with the love, grace and truth of the cross. I truly believe that if more people spoke of miscarriages, depression and other very real struggles, our lives and relationships would look very different. We are not meant to carry these burdens alone. Christ tells us His burden is light. Bring your burdens to the foot of the cross so that He may carry them for you.

We can't keep putting on facades that tell the world we are "okay". We can't continue to pretend we have it all together when we don't. And let's be honest---no one actually does. Christ, prayer, surrender, community and authenticity need to be at the core of our healing. We need to immerse ourselves in God's truth, have others rally around us, cheer us on and cover us in light, in love, in truth and prayer. And as hard as it can be, we need to start believing that we are worth it and that we truly are overcomers. 

We can't afford to give the enemy another foothold. The enemy has no power over us. Satan and sin were DEFEATED at the grave. Redemption and rescue have overcome! Jesus has OVERCOME for you and for me. He is all we need. May we cling to this truth, to His truth that He is our Healer, our Redeemer, our Friend. He walks this road with us and He will never forsake us. It's time we believe this, accept it and breathe these truths into our hearts daily!! And never underestimate the power of having trusted friends and family on speed dial to call in a time of need. We are not meant to do this life alone. 

So sister, wherever you may be, whatever you are struggling with, please know you are not alone. Not now, not ever. God is with you and you have a whole history of women and present fighters walking through this beautiful, messy life with you. It's time we all stand on the grace of the gospel and have true transparency and authenticity in the church, among family and with friends. 

May we find ourselves in a humble place of surrender and bold place of strength in the Lord's faithful hands. May we not let these days and this season of life define us, but instead, let it be a stepping stone, a chapter in the story God is crafting. This isn't the entire book, precious one, this is only a small paragraph in the novel of your life. Let us write something beautiful, for our stories are worth sharing. 


Taking Strides, 

Marla Shrader